Help calming yourself down when having a panic attack or anxiety

Do stop

When you find yourself gasping for air, frozen in fear or confused because of racing thoughts, the first thing you need to do is stop the process. Whether you stop mid sentence, mid thought, mid-stream, just stop.

Do breathe

Take a slow, deep breath, in for the count of 4, hold it for the count of 4, and release your breath slowly through your mouth for the count of 4. While you are counting, your racing thoughts are interrupted, your system settles down and then you will be able to focus.

Do focus

Now you can get some clarity on the situation at hand. If after taking 3-4 slow deep breaths, you still find that you are unable to focus, make sure that you are, in fact, breathing slowly and deeply – in through your nose, and exhaling slowly through your mouth. Yes, this kind of breathing does take some practice, so please be patient with yourself. Understand that panic, like anxiety, is always about the future and the unknown: “What if”, “what will I do”, “what will happen”, “how will this work”, etc.

Do find your desired outcome

The next step is to ask and answer the question, “What is my desired outcome?” A desired outcome must fulfill 2 requirements. It must be something you want, not what you don’t want, and it must be something over which you have control.

Do treat yourself with respect and compassion

Judgments are not helpful, worthwhile, or productive; in fact they tend to increase panic and anxiety reactions, so when you hear the criticisms in your head, go back to steps 1, 2 and 3 – stop, breathe, and focus, and then start again. It’s imperative that you are understanding and forgiving of yourself as you make changes in how you respond to situations that trigger your anxiety and panic reactions. This process may require additional support, therapy, EFT, or other therapeutic interventions, but your panic can and will be significantly diminished using the above 5 steps.

Do not judge yourself for your feelings and reactions

We cannot necessarily control how we feel or react, but we can learn to control what we do with our feelings and reactions. Judging yourself will only increase negative feelings which ultimately keep you stuck in patterns that encourage panic and anxiety.

Do not criticize yourself for your feelings and reactions

Criticisms are not helpful in stopping or changing panic. In fact, like judgments, criticisms tend to make the panicky reactions worse because when you feel badly about yourself, insecurities rise, and then anxiety and panic are triggered.

Do not berate yourself for your feelings and reactions

Beating yourself up has never really served a worthwhile purpose, and it won’t help in the face of panic either. When we hear negative messages about ourselves, especially from within, our self-esteem drops, and we lose sight of our strengths and abilities. This leads to an increase in panic and anxiety, the very thing you are looking to reduce and eliminate.

Do not pretend that your feelings don’t matter

Hiding, minimizing or diminishing your feelings only serve to increase your panicky feelings because ultimately you will feel disrespected and diminished within yourself and thus, reinforcing your panic reactions.

Do not give up hope that you can handle your feelings and reactions differently

It takes patience, practice and perseverance to create any new behavior or response. Every time you practice a new response, whether or not you get the results you desire, you are on a healing path, and changes will occur.