Dating after divorce: How to find love again

Do get excited

It’s OK to have some nerves before a date, but make sure you are also getting excited! Meeting new people should be a fun experience. Whether you find a lifelong love or just a new friend, there is much to be happy about.

Do check your regrets at the door

As with anything in life, there are always going to be the “what ifs?” Don’t let those rule your dating life. Any regrets you may have need to be checked at the door. Get rid of the old and reveal the new you that is unclouded by past regrets.

Do learn from your mistakes

In previous relationships you may have noticed that all the negativity you experienced affected how you approach new relationships. It is important to not only acknowledge your mistakes to yourself, but to take some time to learn from them. You will never be successful in a relationship if you can’t learn and grow from each mistake.

Do speak up

This is not your first rodeo so take advantage of that. You are an adult with some experience in love—you know what you need in a relationship and what you don’t need. This might take a bit of finesse to accomplish, but don’t be afraid to speak your mind and share your views on life and love when appropriate. The only way to get what you want is to be verbal about your needs.

Do take chances

It can be a challenge to veer from your dating comfort zone, but well worth it. With the new romances in your life, don’t attempt to mirror old relationships—fully embrace the new ones. Find new hobbies and interests together and you will learn even more about your potential match and how compatible you are together. In addition, trying new things makes dating exciting and fun, and you deserve that.

Do not make excuses

Both men and women build roadblocks to why they can’t do something and dating is one of those things. Especially after being out of the scene for a bit, it’s easy to psyche yourself out and let your doubts get the best of you. Don’t let that happen. Make sure you are ready to see the positive in a new relationship before you jump in.

Do not compare

No two relationships are the same. This includes everything: the good, the bad, and the ugly. Although it’s hard to go into a relationship with a completely open mind, do your best to keep your former marriage or relationship out of your mind so that you can be open to something new.

Do not judge based on the past

It’s easy to think “men are this way!” and “women are that way”! No matter why your previous marriage failed, it is important to look beyond it and allow yourself a clean slate. You need to remind yourself that each person you date will be completely different than the ones before and after them. And who knows, it could be for the better.

Do not revert to what worked last time you were in the single scene

It’s been a while since you were single so put your best foot forward. That starts with dressing the part and remembering that you are a different person than you were the last time around. It might take you a few tries and some advice from your single friends, but try to modernize your look along with your approach to dating today.

Do not get ahead of yourself

We understand that you are used to being in a relationship and this new found freedom might be overwhelming.But pump the brakes a little bit—jumping from one failed relationship right into another one is not the right approach. If anything slow it down. Be more cautious but without being guarded. Let the relationship unfold naturally and don’t put any time limits on your romantic goals. Another marriage may be in the works someday, but for now just enjoy your new path in life toward finding a healthier relationship for yourself.