Bridesmaid etiquette: How to honor your friend’s wedding day
So your BFF has decided to take the plunge and get hitched, and she is bringing you along for the ride. As her beloved bridesmaid, this coveted title holds many sacred responsibilities, therefore, your role should not be taken lightly. It is important to know what you are getting yourself into as a bridesmaid and most importantly all the “Do’s and Don'ts” that come with this honor. So, take out a pen and paper and jot down these important notes!
Do
- be an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on
- contribute to all wedding events
- be careful with your opinion
- respond in a timely fashion
- get to know the bridal party
Don't
- complain about anything
- be tardy
- have a bad attitude
- neglect the wedding website
- disappear after the wedding ceremony
Do be an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on
Once you have committed to being a bridesmaid, you have committed to being an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on. As a bridesmaid, you are the bride’s left wing and right wing. The wedding journey can be both fun and stressful, and when the bride needs a third opinion, you’re their go-to person. When the groom and immediate family members are causing the bride stress, you’re going to be that person to calm her nerves. If anything is out of order during the bachelorette party, wedding shower, or even the wedding, the bride will turn to you to work your bridesmaid magic. A bridesmaid is basically an angel with imaginary wings.
Do contribute to all wedding events
Although the bride will likely choose a Maid of Honor, that doesn’t mean the Maid of Honor won’t need help. From ideas to financially, be sure to offer your equal contribution – the Maid of Honor shouldn’t be stuck planning and paying for everything. Every bridesmaid is a special part of the entire wedding experience and you should feel like you truly had a contribution to everything from the bachelorette party to the wedding shower.
Do be careful with your opinion
The bride values the opinion of everyone in her bridal party, however, at the end of the day, this wedding is for the bride and groom and nothing would make them feel worse than strong opinions on a decision they want to make. Choose your words carefully when the bride asks your opinion on an element of the wedding. Avoid negative words and opt for a positive spin to something that you are not crazy about. For example: If the bride wants your opinion on her wedding dress, tell her she looks beautiful but that you would like to see what other options she is looking at. Also, explain what features you love on every dress. Steer the bride in a good direction, but make her feel like she is leading in the decision.
Do respond in a timely fashion
Many, many, many decisions will be made during the wedding journey and a lot of it will require your response. If a bride asks you a question, make it a point to respond quickly. Quickly in a perfect world would be the second the bride presses send, but at the very least respond within 24 hours. There will be many deadlines that you will have to respond to (ie: sending in your measurements, sending in your money for your dress, picking up your dress, etc.) so be cognizant of those dates by keeping a separate calendar of bridesmaid deadlines. The bride will love you for staying on top of everything.
Do get to know the bridal party
Some people are fortunate enough to have bridesmaids who know each other, but in the event that the other bridesmaids are people you are just meeting, make it a point to get to know them. After all, you will be stuck with them for every event related to the wedding. Do not seclude yourself, but rather, include the other bridesmaids in conversations and activities to force interactions. The same goes for the groomsmen when you finally meet them all. Who knows, you might even meet a future bridesmaid for your wedding!
Do not complain about anything
There is nothing more tacky than a bridesmaid who complains. A bride has many decisions to make during her wedding so the last thing she needs is a bridesmaid making things difficult or worrying about 100% pleasing her. When you make the wedding about you, it takes away from the most important person: the bride. Suck it up and follow the wishes of the bride. Wait till it’s your turn to be getting married then you can call all the shots.
Do not be tardy
If you want to stress out a bride, arrive late. Being late is not only rude, but totally inconveniences the entire bridal party. Make it a point to be on time to every event; it will relieve tension and stress from the bride and make for a smoother day, especially on the wedding day. Most events have a price tag attached to them, so time is money, literally!
Do not have a bad attitude
Bubbly 24/7 is the name of the bridesmaid game! No sad faces around the bride – it is all about being happy and energetic. You will be a source of light and energy for the bride. She will turn to you for an approving smiling or for a nice little “you got this” wink. Leave all attitudes at the door.
Do not neglect the wedding website
The worst thing you could do is neglect to visit the wedding website. Most brides and grooms take the time to put together a beautiful wedding website designed to help visitors understand every detail of the wedding (including the very attractive bridal party). This website is your total wedding guide and nothing will annoy the bride more than when you take her away from her planning to ask her a question that is answered on the wedding website. Once you visit the site, bookmark it so you don’t lose the website address.
Do not disappear after the wedding ceremony
So the officiant has pronounced the bride and groom husband and wife, but that doesn’t mean you’re off the hook! There is still part 2 & 3 (and sometimes 4,5, and 6) of the wedding ceremony/celebration. To make life easy for the bride, groom, and in some cases the wedding planner/day-of coordinator, stay in close proximity of the bridal party. Straying away to mingle with the wedding guests can cause utter chaos when it’s time to take pictures or make your grand entrance.
Summary
All in all, as a bridesmaid, you hold such a special position in the wedding and that should be treated with the utmost respect. The bride loves you, trusts you, and appreciates your presence. Take your role as a bridesmaid seriously and make it a point to be the best bridesmaid you can be. You would want the same treatment when it is your turn to walk down the aisle.
